Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Can't do it....

I couldn’t make myself go into the meetings this week. I read a notice about an AA meeting in the morning, before I have to go to work. Kids are in school, I’m still off work, it should work out great right. Only problem is I couldn’t get out of my car. Literally. First I got there early, so I sat in the car listening to some music. Next thing I know, the parking lot is filling up and there are people everywhere. My skin starts crawling, I can feel the people surrounding me. Of course not literally, but that’s how it felt. Almost a full blown panic attack. After a few failed attempts of going inside, I gave up and went for a drive. I tried again on Tuesday night. I’ve been in that meeting before. Once again I couldn’t do it. Why???

Other than that, things are going pretty good. I am off the crutches. I only used them about half the time that I was supposed to, but, I want it strong enough to dance on this weekend. They only way to do that is to put it to use. Lets hope that all turns out well and I can dance al weekend like I plan…I haven’t seen J this week. I guess I’ll go see him tomorrow of Friday. I need a hug. You know the no strings attached type. I guess this will be my way of coping. At least for now. Online is much easier to deal with. Online is easier to deal with.

We have puppies! Six in all, but one died. She had 3 albino’s 2 female and the male passed, 2 brown and black females, and a “Pinto” male. They are so cute but loud as can be! Lol I feel bad now, I got mad at her last night and kicked her out. She kept getting under my bed and then crying cuz she was stuck, winds up she was in labor. How was I supposed to know, at three in the morning it was all I could do to pick up the bed to hel her out. Thankfully the dogs “room” had a bunch of blankets and she used them to keep the puppies warm the rest of the night. Their room by the way is a 10 X 12 room built onto the house and insulated just for them. No heating vents, but hey they have plenty of room to move around in there when its too cold to play outside! So…………anyone want a puppy? I have four females to find homes for…lol

3 comments:

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

why not phone the local aa number and tell them that you would like to go to a meeting, but that you have dificculty getting out of the car outside becuse of rising panic, and so would they be able to find a local woman who could take you to the meeting. This is a WE programme!!
either that, or call a number from your local 'where to find list' of meetings an darrange to meet a WOMAN outside the meeting place next time instead of trying to do it on your own.
well i think it's worth a try anyway.
Basically, when you get STUCK, 'ASK FOR HELP'!!
Life is SO much easier when you do that!!
Oh yeah, and keep coming back!

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

hey there lela. hows it doin'?
Jus thought I'd pop my head round the door to see if you were in..
Hope you are well and all that..

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

just popping in to say hi!
have a chilled out sunday lela!