I'm still alive

Its been a while since I last posted on here. I just couldn't do it. The meetings and the people just freaked me out. I discovered my own solution that for now will have to work. I ran into a strong network of former military people with a variety of problems. So far it seems to work. And of course I have my dog and her puppies to play with. These guys are huge, I can't believe that they are barely going to be three weeks old. Obviously I've had my ups and downs, but who hasn't. The lowest point was getting dumb jumping a wall with three inch heels on and fracturing my right foot , but it'll heal, it always does. The best part is I have met some great people. Hopefully have formed some friendships that will last a lifetime or two. Things look a little brighter....

Can't do it....

I couldn’t make myself go into the meetings this week. I read a notice about an AA meeting in the morning, before I have to go to work. Kids are in school, I’m still off work, it should work out great right. Only problem is I couldn’t get out of my car. Literally. First I got there early, so I sat in the car listening to some music. Next thing I know, the parking lot is filling up and there are people everywhere. My skin starts crawling, I can feel the people surrounding me. Of course not literally, but that’s how it felt. Almost a full blown panic attack. After a few failed attempts of going inside, I gave up and went for a drive. I tried again on Tuesday night. I’ve been in that meeting before. Once again I couldn’t do it. Why???

Other than that, things are going pretty good. I am off the crutches. I only used them about half the time that I was supposed to, but, I want it strong enough to dance on this weekend. They only way to do that is to put it to use. Lets hope that all turns out well and I can dance al weekend like I plan…I haven’t seen J this week. I guess I’ll go see him tomorrow of Friday. I need a hug. You know the no strings attached type. I guess this will be my way of coping. At least for now. Online is much easier to deal with. Online is easier to deal with.

We have puppies! Six in all, but one died. She had 3 albino’s 2 female and the male passed, 2 brown and black females, and a “Pinto” male. They are so cute but loud as can be! Lol I feel bad now, I got mad at her last night and kicked her out. She kept getting under my bed and then crying cuz she was stuck, winds up she was in labor. How was I supposed to know, at three in the morning it was all I could do to pick up the bed to hel her out. Thankfully the dogs “room” had a bunch of blankets and she used them to keep the puppies warm the rest of the night. Their room by the way is a 10 X 12 room built onto the house and insulated just for them. No heating vents, but hey they have plenty of room to move around in there when its too cold to play outside! So…………anyone want a puppy? I have four females to find homes for…lol

Week One!!!

Well I made it till about 11 before I was bored enough that I went to the bar to dance. The good news is all I drank was part of a coke. I literally danced from 11:30 till I had to leave at around 1:30. I met a great guy while I was there, and the boy can dance! I’m excited. I might have found me a dance partner! Yay! Anyhow luck would have it that I dislocated my knee, on a slow song! How in the world I managed to do that I’ll never know, but I though I was going to die when it got reset. So needless to say I still woke up this morning with that groggy what in world did I do feeling? At least I can say it was because of prescribed medication and not alcohol. Sure am glad I didn’t drink anything, they wouldn’t have given me anything if I had. So either way I’m happy, I can manage to go out let everyone else drink, and I still have a good time. I’m not saying it was easy, but its possible!

So all in all I’ve decided life is great. I got to spend some time with my kids this week, and went to all of my classes. Belly Dancing class rocks! Lol That may be my favorite class after all. I took it for something to do; now I’ve decided that I may have to keep up and do world and native dance in the next few semesters. My dog is pregnant and I swear if she doesn’t have them soon she is going to explode. The funny story about this is my youngest son didn’t realize that she was pregnant. Shoot he didn’t even realize she was getting fatter. Grandma said she felt sorry for that fat dog and he flew to her defense saying she wasn’t fat, she’s just right! Lol Well we told him he’s right, but grandma said that cuz her belly is getting so big and she needs to have the babies soon. He just looked at her, his jaw dropped and he finally said, “Ginger? My puppy is going to have babies?” We all laughed and a few minutes later he came back and asked us, “How did they get there, and how do they come out? He doesn’t want her to have babies!” LOL I really have no clue what he was thinking about seeing her belly move all he time, I guess he just didn’t put two and two together. Now he is all worried about her and checking every chance he gets to see if they got out yet. I can’t wait to see his face when she does finally have them!